My friend’s son had a huge problem. Every time his little female cousin’s would come over his little sister and they would go in to his bedroom to play and make a huge mess. After warnings, talkings too the girls continued to disobey her and trash the poor kid’s room. She gave him permission to lock his bedroom when they came to visit and he even put a big “No Girls & Cousins Allowed” sign on his bedroom door. This enraged his adorable 4-year-old sister to the point of making her own “No Boys” Allowed sign on her bedroom door. Okay so the sign really looked like a collection of ancient hieroglyphics, but she read it for me. She also read it form my daughter and even made one for her bedroom door as well.
You know kids. Of course Alice came home and loudly proclaimed her new radical feminist revelations to her brother.
“Dylan. Boys are yucky! No Boys my room!” She announced at the top of her lungs as Dylan sat innocently eating his cereal. He whined his familiar whine.
“Mooom.” I replied how I always reply.
“I know honey, just ignore her.” I turn to my little bra burning radical. “Alice wouldn’t you feel sad if Dylan said never let you go into his room again?”
“No! I hate boys!” I glare at Alice as Dylan continues whining louder and much longer. Another typical day has begun.
That night they both have signs on their doors. Alice has the hieroglyphics on hers and Dylan’s sign reads “No Gerlz Ulod! ” They are yelling their proclamations out of their doorways at each other. Neither is allowed in the others room and the threats are flying. Never ever threaten my daughter. She looks like a pocket sized princess, but she has an inner gangbanger always secretly waiting to start a brawl. Alice storms Dylan’s room. She over powers him at the door way and tackles him pinning him on his bed. He is screaming for me to rescue him claiming that he cannot breathe. I run in and drag her off. She immediately runs into her room and barricades herself in. We are talking about Alice here so I mean the child literally shoved all of the furniture that she could move and shoved it against her door. Great for keeping boys out, but not so great when you move the bed and unplug the lamp. The only lamp and you are terrified of the dark. I hear screaming, scratching, and flying obstacles. I wedge open the door wide enough for her to stick her face out of the door. The poor kid is trapped. I push and push. I can’t open the door. Poor Alice gets more hysterical. I call for Dave and after about ten minutes of pushing and maneuvering his arm into the room she is freed.
I sat the kids down and tried to make this a “teachable moment” I explained the obvious metaphor that excluding people from your room based on gender is discrimination. That discrimination is unfairly trapping people into bad feelings. Did I reach too far? Did they learn their lesson? Of course…. not. They both looked at me like I had just beheaded the Easter Bunny and went into the bathroom to brush their teeth. But they did go in there together! Small victories.
