Day 9

Day 9 and all is fine. Okay I am planning to drink some intestinal Drano tomorrow if I don’t have any bathroom action. Ok enough potty talk. This morning I started with a cucumber apple and celery drink. This drink is so refreshing, like drinking glistening green nature. I started the morning off as usual me waking up sweating under the blankets, the dog and half of a sleeping 5-year-old. I roll the dog off nudge Alice off and tell her it’s time to wake up; I slide the covers off the bed and start my day. I go down stairs to let the god out and make sure that Dill is up and dressed. I make him breakfast then go up to find the covers back on the bed and Alice rolled into a ball under them. I tell her that it’s time to wake up and take off the covers again as she screams at me. Repeat 6 or 7 times. Now we have 15 minutes before we have to leave for school and I am pulling Alice out of bed by the ankles. I wrestle her clothes on her. She cries because she HATES the outfit even though she has worn it umpteen times. She runs into her room and claims that she has no clothes that she likes. Then she begs me to go down to the basement with her to see if anything she might want to wear in the dryer.


I open the basement door and almost get knocked off of my feet by a heinous odor. Did the last few days of rain flood the basement office? Did Dave forget to tell me that one of his many storage boxes is filled with 50 pounds of hamburger meat? I have no time to investigate. Alice finds a dress and throws it on in 3 seconds. Then she turns to me and says; “Momma something is wrong with the basement…PU”? She holds her nose and runs up stairs. After I drop them at school I investigate the basement and find no wet carpets or the source of the odor.

I pick the kids up and am reminded that this evening is the cookie decorating party at school. Only 5 dollars a kid to decorate homemade sugar cookies in all sorts of fun shapes with 3 pounds of frosting, sprinkles, and assorted candy. An alarm starts to go off in my head. DANGER DANGER! Cookies are my number one weakness especially sugar cookies in cute shapes all decorated and pretty. The kids and I used to make them for every occasion. Sugar cookies are my special food item that I bring to parties and give as presents. I decide that I will force Dave to go with them just like he did to the ice cream social last week. Why do schools only have food themed events? I vow to come up with and host at least one active nonfood school event this year.

The event starts at 6:00pm. I have been watching the clock since 5:00. The time is now 5:50 and no Dave. My birthday is tomorrow so I assume that he is out birthday shopping. I reluctantly pack up the kids and head to cookie hell. Would you believe that cookie hell was actually heaven? I sat with my mom friends and let the kids go wild. Dylan had a pile of candy and frosting. I couldn’t see if he had cookies underneath or not. Alice made some artistic cookies that must have weighed a pound each. They ate their creations and about an hour later Dylan staggered over with green frosting smudged all over his mouth. “Mom, my stomach feels funny…I know… I ate to much junk…you don’t have to say it.”

I smiled to myself. Perhaps the child did actually listen to me every once and a while. He sat next to me and put his head on my shoulder. Alice ate about half and brought the rest of her creations home. I walked out of the school doors into the night and expected a fairy God Mother to be lighting up the sky with her cookie wand. I spent 2 hours in a room filled with cookies and every color and kind of candy, sprinkle, and sugary delight in existence and I was fine. I wasn’t tempted at all. I didn’t need will power. I had no will to eat any of it. My fairy God Mother must have sprinkled magic anti-cookie dust on me as I walked in.

If eating fruits and vegetables is the key to being free from my food addiction I am never going back. No food tastes as good as freedom feels. I am finally free!

PS read tomorrow to find out what the smell is....